


Vati

by Scourgefan12



Category: Hellsing
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:00:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scourgefan12/pseuds/Scourgefan12
Summary: Jan has been learning German... kind of. And he's very excited to show off what he's learned to Doc.
Relationships: The Doctor (Hellsing)/Jan Valentine
Kudos: 2





	Vati

Jan loved Doc, he really did. The other brightened his day like nothing else, actually having someone who cared about him was an absolutely intoxicating feeling. He couldn't get enough, when he was allowed he would stick around Doc near constantly. 

That being said, the only thing he loved more than Doc himself was getting to torment him.

As far as Doc was concerned, that was the case. He knew it wasn't malicious on Jan's end, he was just having fun. Jan was a little shit by nature, he couldn't help himself, one of the ways he showed he cared was messing with people. This was also something he did to people he didn't care about, but that was different. With people he was close to about he was very excited about what he did, he assumed they were in on the joke. He wasn't cruel with what he did or said, at least not on purpose, he was just having fun and probably assumed that on some level the other person was too. It was strangely innocent, considering the person behind the actions.

Of course, that didn't mean that Doc didn't still want to throttle him sometimes. Jan drove him up the fucking wall, sometimes Doc wondered why he put up with him in the first place. (He always felt foolish whenever this question crossed his mind. He put up with it because he loved Jan, obviously. It was hard to stay mad at him.)

Jan could also be very creative with his methods when he felt like it. Nobody else could surprise Doc quite like he could, the amount of times Jan had left him completely stunned was honestly incredible. You would think he'd get used to it eventually, but Jan always knew how to stay one step ahead of his expectations. It was maddening.

Today he was facing this exact problem.

He hadn't seen Jan all day, which was odd. Kind of. Jan _did_ have other things to do, responsibilities and such, but he often neglected them. And the one other person who put up with him was Luke, who was very diligent and would not tolerate distractions while he was busy with things he deemed important. So, that often left Jan with little choice but to pester Doc.

Doc wasn't too worried about it, though. If anything, the peace and quiet was nice. He was going to enjoy it while it lasted. He hoped that Jan was using their time apart wisely, but logically he knew that Jan was probably holed up in his room finding new and inventive ways to touch himself. Or was harassing someone else.

Fortunately, as long as Jan wasn't around, none of that was Doc's problem. Unless someone complained to him, which wasn't terribly unlikely. He suspected that the others had caught onto the fact that he could successfully order Jan around, that Jan actually respected Doc enough to listen.

Either that or they just wanted help from one of their superiors and didn't want to bother the Major. Both were equally likely.

Sadly, his freedom couldn't last forever. Whatever Jan was occupied with couldn't hold his attention forever, and eventually he decided it was time to bother Doc.

Doc was glad he got a fair amount done before Jan arrived, because him being around often meant the end of all productivity. He was very good at being distracting.

Strangely enough, Jan didn't make much of a commotion this time around. Normally when he entered a room it was very dramatic. Kicking the door open wasn't uncommon, loudly announcing his presence as if everyone didn't already know it was him. He'd greet whoever he was there to see with copious vulgarity, effortlessly disrupting whatever was going on before his arrival.

Not this time, however. This time he entered very quietly, the way you'd expect a normal person to, Doc almost didn't even notice him. He assumed it wasn't even Jan at first, thought it was... Well, literally anyone else. Never mind the fact that very few of the others were especially quiet or calm most of the time, they were at least capable of behaving when they were expected to.

He didn't notice who it was until they were right on him. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, pulling him close. He knew then that it had to be Jan, because nobody else would so casually encroach on his personal space. 

He tensed up at first because, well, this was Jan. There were very few motives he could have for getting this close, and considering his behavior a majority of the time Doc couldn't be blamed for expecting the worst.

But then, after a few seconds, nothing happened. Jan held Doc snug against his chest, resting his face in the crook of Doc's neck, but didn't make any moves to actually _do_ anything.

He relaxed considerably at that, unable to fight a smile. Not that it mattered, Jan couldn't see his face anyway.

Jan rarely let himself just be... affectionate. In a normal, non-sexual way. He always had to cover up his intentions with humor, or slip them in during an attempt to get Doc to sleep with him. This made the times where he was willing to let his guard down feel special in a way. (It was also pretty frustrating a lot of the time, especially considering he not only was like that with his own affections, but also ones directed at him. Trying to do or say something nice only for it to be deflected got old really fast. Thankfully, as they got closer, Jan seemed to be gradually getting better with this.)

Doc rested one of his hands atop one of Jan's. "There you are, I was wondering when you would show up."

"Aww, you miss me?"

Yes. Things felt amiss without Jan's boisterous voice. Doc wasn't about to just _say_ that, though. "I may have."

"You fuckin' better have." He held onto Doc a fraction tighter. "I sure as fuck missed you, vati."

It was slipped in so casually that at first Doc missed it. He was focused on the rest of what had been said, and how sweet it was, and when he actually processed it all the last word hit him like a truck. He tensed up again, quickly enough that it probably could be qualified as a flinch. 

Jan, naturally, just started laughing. "Hey, what's wrong?" 

"What.. Why would..." Doc sputtered a bit, unable to find the right words to express just how horrid the feeling Jan had sparked in him was. "Who the hell taught you that?"

"Who wants to know?"

Of course Jan wouldn't give a real answer, that was a stupid thing to ask. Doc's bets were on Rip, she seemed like the type to encourage this sort of mischief.

When Doc didn't make any attempt to respond, Jan gladly picked up the slack. "Vati..." He damn near whined. Doc couldn't see his face, but he imagined Jan was pouting. "For real, what's up?"

It really was the least of the problems with this situation, but Jan's accent was atrocious. Even if he were using the word in a normal, non-sickening context it would be painful to listen to.

"You... really are the most detestable cretin I've had the misfortune of meeting."

Jan _howled_ at that, practically deafening the ear of Doc's he was closest to. He clung to Doc tighter, presumably because he'd double over if he didn't hold onto something. Eventually he got himself under control enough to speak, though honestly Doc wished he didn't. "'Kay- Okay okay, I get it." He took a few breaths to steady himself, before lowering his voice to something that was probably meant to sound seductive but only managed to pass for ridiculous. "Would you rather I call you daddy instead?"

Jan was probably actually into that, that was the worst part. He was probably getting off on this. (Actually, with how closely he was pressed against Jan's front, he knew this was the case. He wished now more than ever that Jan had some concept of personal space.)

Doc should have maybe been concerned at the fact that out of everything Jan was into, it was this that disgusted him the most.

"Got nothin' to say? Come on, you know silence means yes."

Doc seriously considered cutting out Jan's tongue... His scalpel was within reach. And it wasn't like it would kill Jan, it'd grow back. The only thing stopping him was knowing Jan would likely enjoy that too. 

And because he'd feel bad about hurting Jan, he guessed.

He ended up just sighing in resignation. This was going to be a long day, wasn't it?

**Author's Note:**

> This feels very cringe, but like.... I couldn't help myself. Jan 100% would do this  
> Anyway, I truly hate Jan Valentine <3 Foul beast


End file.
